Tonight I started on a quest to answer the ultimate of all ultimate questions. The question that could either unite Canadians and Americans from coast-to-coast in borderless harmony, or conquer and divide across provincial and state lines. The question that could single-handedly bring down the cellular networks as families texted in their votes. The question that goes back to a time before MySpace (really). And that question is...

Who's more annoying: Ryan Seacrest¹ or Ben Mulroney²?
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Footnotes:
¹ Host of American Idol and seemingly America's Voice of Entertainment.
² Host of Canadian Idol and officially Canada's Voice of Entertainment, although how this came about, no one can be sure.
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For awhile, I thought they might just be the same person. That is, until I took The Ultimate Of All Ultimate Questions to the search engines and discovered that Ben had actually once interviewed Ryan on Canadian television. The thought of the both of them on my TV screen at the same time and engaged in conversation with one another was a little more than my brain and the hair gel supply of continental North America could handle, so I investigated no further. They always say it's best to leave the past in the past, right?

I skipped past that result, got a good chuckle over something someone had posted in Television Without Pity's "'Pop That Ego!' Character Assassination and Redemption Game" forum, and stumbled across an item on YouTube that derailed my quest for the night and made me laugh and laugh -- a series titled The Ugly Canadians. (Hey, it even mentions Corey Haim.) Here is episode 3, for your viewing pleasure. Around 1 minute in, it gets pretty good. If you like it and make it to the closing credits, it turns out they have a website too.