To kick off Jenn-a-lala Land: The Blog in style, I thought I'd pull a couple of favorite posts from the archives, back from the life-in-Ottawa days. We're going to rock it, tangent-style.

 

First posted on July 29, 2006

She says pardon? (Moment no. 235083608)

There's a story my parents sometimes tell, of something I said when I was very small -- I think around age 2 or thereabouts. A friend of theirs had come over, and was going down the stairs as I was climbing up them, deep in concentration. They said hello to me, to which I looked up and replied, very seriously and emphatically, "Don't BUG me," then continued on my way. This might be verification of the general suspicion I read somewhere that girls come out of the womb already prepubescent in attitude, but I'm told it was highly amusing.

There are times when it would be useful to have a t-shirt or small sign adorned with that very same phrase. Friday afternoon after a week with very little sleep and waning ability for coherent communication would be one of them.

After work, I had traded in my "librarian look" for the half-librarian look -- now minus my red-framed glasses which had been replaced by my sunglasses -- and had just arrived at the university library. (Yes, even though I'm no longer a student, I am still continuing with research for articles. The university library is your friend.) Some unsuspecting soul -- unaware of how tired and fuzzy brained insomniac me was right at that moment -- walked in behind me as I was pushing my sunglasses up to perch atop my head. The following ensued:

"Is it really that sunny outside?" they ask me, as I'm checking to make sure my cell phone is turned off.

She says pardon? I look up, probably with a half-puzzled, half-pained expression on my face.

"The sunglasses," they continue. "Do you think it's that sunny outside, to be wearing them?"

I check behind my shoulder at the world outside the entrance doors, to make sure I haven't been hallucinating for the last half-hour since I left work. Yup, just as previously noted and experienced. Blue sky, sunshine out to play in all its full glory. Hmmm. Strangely enough, I do believe that this is the very type of day sunglasses were invented for.

Oh, but they continue. "Or are they the 'in' fashion thing right now?"

Exercises in tired self-restraint #1: Refrain from giving mini info-session on weather and appropriate accessories, along with the merits of protecting your eyes from the UV rays and preventing premature crow's feet that can be caused from too much squinting, as one might do when faced with bright sunlight.

Exercises in tired self-restraint #2: Resist sarcastic agreeance that most definitely, it's just a fashion thing, because who doesn't know that sunglasses are just a passing trend? They'll never last past the next issue of Vogue.

It went on from there until I escaped to the sanctuary of the fifth floor of the building, where I had been headed to get a few books for some background research I'm doing about Buddhism in Sri Lanka. As I left, I saw the same person sitting outside, and opted for the tunnel route to get back to my car, heading off any potential for graduation from inquiries about my sunglasses to a full out summer footwear inquisition. I could just picture it:

"Do you really think it's that warm here in Canada?"
"???"
"To wear sandals."
"Umm..."

I am still just mystified.

 

First posted on January 19, 2005

Mid-January update, aka "Januaryitis"

* Jenn-a-lala's note: Now that I live in California, reading this helps me to even further appreciate the weather here, in case I'd forgotten!!!

Welcome to the middle-slowly-nearing-end-oh-will-we-ever-get-there-is-it-over-yet of January. This is a month that really should be sectioned off that way, because it's just that long and it's just that cold. Hmmm. Submitted for your approval, the stages of Januaryitis in this land called Canada:

Stage 1: January 1. This is a stage unto itself. Actually, the day itself could probably be divided into two sub-stages:

Sub-stage a):
Foolishly-and-optimistically-weather-tolerant-as-we-revel-in-our-New-Year's-drunken-stupor-
which-renders-us-entirely-oblivious-to-anything-regarding-snow-and-cold-and-windchill-factor.

Sub-stage b):
A-little-more-realistic-once-we-wake-up-with-a-blinding-headache-and-trudge-out-to-our-car-
which-we-now-must-unearth-from-the-12-foot-snowdrift-that-Mother-Nature-created-while-
doing-her-version-of-blowing-a-meteorological-noisemaker-the-night-before-shivering-fiercely-
as-we-dig-and-dig-and-sweep. But the optimism of the new year and goodwill towards all is still present within us here, and thus, the month is still approached with some cheer.

Stage 2. January 2-15, or roughly thereabouts. This stage is actually known as two things at once. The first of these is something to the effect of where-in-blazes-did-all-the-world's-colour-go-
and-what-genius-decided-upon-the-lie-that-white-is-all-colours-and-black-is-the-absence-of-
it-please-someone-even-show-me-just-a-blue-sky-and-unearth-a-pine-tree-from-its-white-
cocoon-all-I-want-is-colour-and-sunshine-and-sunshine-and-colour-someone-give-me-yellow-
cellophane-or-a-pack-of-Crayolas-so-I-can-colour-the-windows-because-I-am-going-to-climb-
a-%@*(@%!-frozen-tree-if-I-don't-see-something-other-than-white-soon. The second and slightly less polite title of this stage is grumble-mutter-curse-grumble-mutter-%#*(@%()*@%)(@()@!!!-
freezing-rain-%*(@%*()@%()-just-pick-one-already-would-you-%(%@(*%@-snow-or-
@)*@%)*@%)*@-rain-hockey-players-are-meant-to-skate-not-cars-on-roads-or-pedestrians-
on-sidewalks. AKA lawsuit season, as our kind city has seemingly decided against salt on the sidewalks of residential streets. Stores selling golf cleats should really be advertising.

Stage 3. January 16-20. Simply known as "Why? Why, dear God, why?" Alternately known as "It's effing cold."

Stage 4. January 20-30. This is sometimes called "Whine, whine, whine." It can also be referred to as "Bitch, moan and complain." Why? Because we are going to do all of these things, all day long, every day, until this blasted month is over. And at this point we really don't believe it ever will be over. There is only so much -90398729835728937598°C (although I'm sure this is about on par in °F) that the people of this fine country can take. We miss our humidex, UV index, and even our mosquitos. Yes, this title offering is valid in Quebec, but void in the GTA and coastal British Columbia.

Stage 5. January 31. Like January 1, this stage can also be divided into two sub-stages:

Sub-stage a):
We-made-it-we-made-it-we-really-really-made-it-let's-have-a-barbeque-over-the-
block-heaters-and-toast-to-the-end-of-this-sheer-lunacy-oh-thank-God-this-month-is-over.

Sub-stage b):
"What the @%()@%()*@! are we celebrating for? It's February tomorrow."

February is when the heating bill arrives. Due to the extremely sensitive nature of this topic and the rage-inducing effect the words "gas company" have on a vast majority of Canadians during this time, it's really best that we don't talk about it.